DIARY OF A CRAZED ASCENSIONIST: A Taste of Things Past?

25/9/09


Treading a path to surviving and keeping up with the stellar blasts now hitting earth - and us - at an astronomical rate is fraught with difficulties. Don’t we all know it!

Your emotional, mental, spiritual and physical bodies are pounded on an almost-daily basis. And when that ends, there’s always the post-sleep filled activities, clearings and ‘experiments’ to look forward to. Just last week, for instance, I re-entered my body into wakefulness a fraction prematurely to find and feel my neck gland buzzing and pulsating wildly and painfully. It almost felt separated from my body somehow and was accompanied by what sounded like an etheric high-frequency chainsaw sound. How etheric lab rat is that? Not to mention B Grade horror movie! The sensations were literally shocking.

All in all, the entire journey is like being on a permanent roller coaster ride – only with way more nausea and vertigo-inducing dips than exhilarating peaks! Luckily, though, we can take small comfort in knowing there’s an established group of us masochists global wide, all suffering simultaneously.

Experiencing the odd ‘good ascension day’ as I’ve come to call them, is absolute bliss when they do happen by… though far and few between.
On these days I go crazy in the most delicious ways I can conjure up. But a common activity [mostly because I’m just so incredulous that it’s a ‘good’ day] on those days is to get very physical and dance that joy back into/out of my very bones! Very grounding.

Now ‘good’ days are to be utilized in the extreme. There’s (solo) joke sessions with my feline family who can’t join in on my hysterical giggling, of course. But I’m pretty certain they’re having a telepathic giggle with me. Or at me, at least. And yes, on those days they also double up as audience members when I boogie! They’re basically great all-rounders who morph (willingly or not) into the playmates I need when I need them. Not to mention being the feline equivalents of masochists themselves, as I’ve often told them! Particularly given the enormous amount of anchoring and clearing work on me they do via my team of invisible friends (IF’s) almost nightly. *Sigh* Well, we all choose our paths…

Of late, yet another series of cosmic activations have knocked my socks off…again. For close on two and a half months my four cats have been paw-glued to various permanently-agonized points around my neck, head and upper back/shoulder area every single night. I’ve all but crawled through my days, willing night to fall fast. Despite the above, there still does remain some peace in unconsciousness.

The neck story: I was told this was clearing, in part, of slave programming from the 6th and 7th dimensions and entity removals. And then had dreams where I’ve coughed up the critters in huge balls of sick-green slime. Between this and the usual myriad of other de-light-ful symptoms I’ve also completely lost my sense of taste of late.
And my sense of smell. Basically, my ears, nose and throat are being worked on in some mad and major way.
Stabbing pains in the inner ear, burning and singe-ing on the outer one and waking up choking and spluttering are just a few of the joys of this round in the wrestling (with Self) ring.

Yes, it seems like I have my very own devoted team of Himmler-like ENT etheric torturers, cosmic specialist doctors who are thinking up some mega-creative ways of tormenting me further, even in sleep.
I can’t begin to tell you how many times I’ve fantasized about living in a nuthouse. This way the incessant cycles of madness, magic and mystery and the accompanying crazy symptoms could all be shared under a single roof. Can you imagine it? All of us moaning, groaning, sobbing, shrieking and emitting the odd beserk-tinged laughter…collectively!

Fact is, this planetary group of us that elected to, are pushing the boundaries continuously in upgrading/downloading, integrating and releasing aspects of our Selves.

I woke up one morning sometime in mid-September and my body odours had seemingly disappeared overnight. Literally free of bad odours. Yaaay! I thought, a day or two later after seeing this was a permanent fixture. No more expensive and harmful deodorants! But then it dawned on me. I’d also been tasting peculiarly when eating food. I immediately put this down to the after effects of dental anaesthetics for a couple of days. I’d taken far more poison than the usual amount in a recent four hour dentathon of an appointment!

It was not a good feeling when I realized all food tasted of nothing-ness to me. That’s an understatement, actually. Because for someone who loves their food as much as I do, this was devastating. It’s not that food tastes bad – as in tinny, synthetic or anything like that – it’s just (even more tragically) that it all tastes like nothing; hollow and devoid. There was a very vague sense of the consumable being sweet or salty. Not unlike when you have a cold. Now just imagine that ongoing experience for months – without the runny nose.

On the plus side: I’ll now be forced to eat to live rather than vice versa; savings could be fairly large; a raw food diet (yuk!) can finally become a real and neutral (literally) option.
On the minus side: potentially never being able to savour the explosive flavour fest of a Thai Green curry again  ; the sensual experience of food is no more; can it possibly be that the pleasure of the eating out ritual may never again be?

I have to confess: this is not the first time during this Ascension process a part of my physiology has gone AWOL. It’s happened before. I cried in frustration and threw a few tantrums. Of course, none of it helped until the process was complete, in its own time. It took three months for my nervous system to re-adjust then. So perhaps I’m being the drama queen all over again and just need to have a lot more patience and keep a lot less food in my kitchen cupboards in the interim.

You know what never ceases to amaze me? That we actually chose this seemingly-eternal madness as part of our planned pre-incarnational contract. So of course we take full responsibility for all of it. Or perhaps I should just say I do. My own conscious ascension process has been in the making for a decade now. Or 25 years if you start from my awakening and seeking years. This amounts to half of an average lifespan. And that’s the maddest part of all, in my opinion. Along with my compulsion to stay on track with it, that is.

But rumour has it that, in fact, my ‘real’ life is soon to start. And yes, hopefully then all of this will seem like nothing more than the memory of a distant nightmare. One of record-breaking length.

In
Magic, madness and mystery
Shellee-Kim

[Next time in Diary of a Crazed Ascensionist: Buzzing, boundaries and babies].

"All I can be, I haven't become. All I can do, I haven't done. How far I can reach, hasn't yet been reached. I am a work that hasn't been completed."
T.D. Jakes

Morality Vs Ethics by Lady Nada with Shellee-Kim Gold

10/11/09

We are pleased to have been invited to speak in this manner once more. It is truly our pleasure to do so.

This one has been pondering over the title of this communiqué for a time now. And we have said that there is indeed a difference – often times a marked one between the expression of these states: morality and ethics.

While morality is often times defined by one’s society, culture and conditioning, ethics is a state of practice which is based more on personal and internal alignment with integrity. We would say morality, because it is rooted in the externals of a society, is often a behavioural-based and learned state, rather than an internally-felt one.

In this regard, the expression of morality could be said to come as a result of numerous motivations, including guilt and fear. However, sometimes ethics and morality do combine to create an integrity-driven experience and expression. This is the natural state of expression for the Hu-Man (higher man), which humanity is currently evolving into. Success depends on how much of the accumulated fear-based expression the individual has been able to clear.

One would be at their most authentic where the practitioner possesses a good deal of internal balance. This usually first means a fair bit of observing the self in action and re-action. And then being willing and able to discern whether a re-action is being driven by the negative ego or the higher self.
Accurately identifying and accepting the differences is rather crucial as this all goes a way in determining your commitment towards living a life that is more ethically-driven and in integrity.

Have you observed how desperately people will fight to defend their brand of ‘truth’ in the name of morality? Often it will trigger such an emotional response in the one doing the defending that they forget themselves and may verbally attack the one challenging them. Although this may often be put down to ‘the heat of the moment’.

But regardless of how quickly composure is returned to these ones, the observer has seen the expression here has been motivated by intellectual/mental restraint (negative ego) rather than a genuine energetic acceptance, allowing and tolerance (higher self) of the person and situation.

Where morality becomes confusing and should be excellent pointers to you all along the way, is where it, as a mental construct, becomes superimposed in a sometimes-rigid manner that doesn’t allow for much life expression outside of this code. Whether it’s employed as a personal value held dear or used to maintain a particular viewpoint/justification on a subject or philosophy.

Often morality rules with an iron fist when fear remains the dominant underlying state within. An excellent example of this being the morality that is touted in your world’s major religions, each with their own prescribed moral codes. And, as above, because it is more often based in fear it has not the capacity to be in a state of true compassion, tolerance and acceptance much of the time.

Forcing yourselves behaviourally to appear to be compassionate and accepting doesn’t really cut it, either. Although these are states many impose upon themselves. And one where, because you may not actually feel the qualities you would like to be seen to be projecting, you would be prone to sometimes behaving opposite to that which you state or imply is your moral code.
Thus giving rise to what your world calls hypocritic behaviour, which in turn produces guilt. And this serves no one at all. So you can see the pressure you place on yourselves is exceedingly high.

For those that have managed this, living in and practising integrity is a natural part of ethical living. Which is not to say that one doesn’t fall or struggle, merely that at a particular point in one’s evolution and when enough within has been integrated, the tendency in oneself is to swing back naturally into the camp of love, honour and honesty. With self and then all others.

How is it you can bring these seemingly-similar but often divorced states into greater alignment with each other?
We would suggest becoming aware of that which you feel particularly strongly about when it comes to your ideas and expressions of what you identify as your moral code.

Even, and perhaps particularly, those who identify strongly with New Age teachings, philosophies and belief systems. For it is the psychological-emotional dynamics behind both New Age and your world religions that can produce an-often morally inflexible approach to life. And subsequently in interactions with other beings.

Perhaps those who would make progress most easily would be those who can be flexible about their moral code. This is not to say that one doesn’t care enough about it, but rather the emotional attachment to such a code would then be far less binding and restrictive. And one that is more readily able to support inner expansion.

Becoming energetically in synch first requires becoming conscious of that which is out of synch. Asking others with whom you share intimate or close bonds for their perspectives of you to be shared honestly and with kindness would be one courageous way in which this can begin to be recognized.

It is these subtle but profound misalignments within humanity that are exactly the sorts of states needing to be examined on the path towards mastering the Self.

If overlooked or written off as insignificant, humanity then continues to be distracted from the real path at hand during these amazing times of personal opportunity. And continue to allow more of the negative ego or anti-Christ within, as this one likes to call it, to flourish unchallenged.

These times essentially are about coming into alignment with your higher self as driver of your being. And so this transformative process is unavoidable if your choice is to become sovereign, co-creative beings of the New Earth.

It is precisely in the next 'now' moment that all is to finally unfold upon your plane. And the more prepared you are within, so will it all be easier to handle in your external living.

We thank you for being with us after this lengthy absence. And we honour each and every one of you on your journey. May you go forward with peace in your hearts.