Treading a path to surviving and keeping up with the stellar blasts now hitting earth - and us - at an astronomical rate is fraught with difficulties. Don’t we all know it!
Your emotional, mental, spiritual and physical bodies are pounded on an almost-daily basis. And when that ends, there’s always the post-sleep filled activities, clearings and ‘experiments’ to look forward to. Just last week, for instance, I re-entered my body into wakefulness a fraction prematurely to find and feel my neck gland buzzing and pulsating wildly and painfully. It almost felt separated from my body somehow and was accompanied by what sounded like an etheric high-frequency chainsaw sound. How etheric lab rat is that? Not to mention B Grade horror movie! The sensations were literally shocking.
All in all, the entire journey is like being on a permanent roller coaster ride – only with way more nausea and vertigo-inducing dips than exhilarating peaks! Luckily, though, we can take small comfort in knowing there’s an established group of us masochists global wide, all suffering simultaneously.
Experiencing the odd ‘good ascension day’ as I’ve come to call them, is absolute bliss when they do happen by… though far and few between.
On these days I go crazy in the most delicious ways I can conjure up. But a common activity [mostly because I’m just so incredulous that it’s a ‘good’ day] on those days is to get very physical and dance that joy back into/out of my very bones! Very grounding.
Now ‘good’ days are to be utilized in the extreme. There’s (solo) joke sessions with my feline family who can’t join in on my hysterical giggling, of course. But I’m pretty certain they’re having a telepathic giggle with me. Or at me, at least. And yes, on those days they also double up as audience members when I boogie! They’re basically great all-rounders who morph (willingly or not) into the playmates I need when I need them. Not to mention being the feline equivalents of masochists themselves, as I’ve often told them! Particularly given the enormous amount of anchoring and clearing work on me they do via my team of invisible friends (IF’s) almost nightly. *Sigh* Well, we all choose our paths…
Of late, yet another series of cosmic activations have knocked my socks off…again. For close on two and a half months my four cats have been paw-glued to various permanently-agonized points around my neck, head and upper back/shoulder area every single night. I’ve all but crawled through my days, willing night to fall fast. Despite the above, there still does remain some peace in unconsciousness.
The neck story: I was told this was clearing, in part, of slave programming from the 6th and 7th dimensions and entity removals. And then had dreams where I’ve coughed up the critters in huge balls of sick-green slime. Between this and the usual myriad of other de-light-ful symptoms I’ve also completely lost my sense of taste of late.
And my sense of smell. Basically, my ears, nose and throat are being worked on in some mad and major way.
Stabbing pains in the inner ear, burning and singe-ing on the outer one and waking up choking and spluttering are just a few of the joys of this round in the wrestling (with Self) ring.
Yes, it seems like I have my very own devoted team of Himmler-like ENT etheric torturers, cosmic specialist doctors who are thinking up some mega-creative ways of tormenting me further, even in sleep.
I can’t begin to tell you how many times I’ve fantasized about living in a nuthouse. This way the incessant cycles of madness, magic and mystery and the accompanying crazy symptoms could all be shared under a single roof. Can you imagine it? All of us moaning, groaning, sobbing, shrieking and emitting the odd beserk-tinged laughter…collectively!
Fact is, this planetary group of us that elected to, are pushing the boundaries continuously in upgrading/downloading, integrating and releasing aspects of our Selves.
I woke up one morning sometime in mid-September and my body odours had seemingly disappeared overnight. Literally free of bad odours. Yaaay! I thought, a day or two later after seeing this was a permanent fixture. No more expensive and harmful deodorants! But then it dawned on me. I’d also been tasting peculiarly when eating food. I immediately put this down to the after effects of dental anaesthetics for a couple of days. I’d taken far more poison than the usual amount in a recent four hour dentathon of an appointment!
It was not a good feeling when I realized all food tasted of nothing-ness to me. That’s an understatement, actually. Because for someone who loves their food as much as I do, this was devastating. It’s not that food tastes bad – as in tinny, synthetic or anything like that – it’s just (even more tragically) that it all tastes like nothing; hollow and devoid. There was a very vague sense of the consumable being sweet or salty. Not unlike when you have a cold. Now just imagine that ongoing experience for months – without the runny nose.
On the plus side: I’ll now be forced to eat to live rather than vice versa; savings could be fairly large; a raw food diet (yuk!) can finally become a real and neutral (literally) option.
On the minus side: potentially never being able to savour the explosive flavour fest of a Thai Green curry again ; the sensual experience of food is no more; can it possibly be that the pleasure of the eating out ritual may never again be?
I have to confess: this is not the first time during this Ascension process a part of my physiology has gone AWOL. It’s happened before. I cried in frustration and threw a few tantrums. Of course, none of it helped until the process was complete, in its own time. It took three months for my nervous system to re-adjust then. So perhaps I’m being the drama queen all over again and just need to have a lot more patience and keep a lot less food in my kitchen cupboards in the interim.
You know what never ceases to amaze me? That we actually chose this seemingly-eternal madness as part of our planned pre-incarnational contract. So of course we take full responsibility for all of it. Or perhaps I should just say I do. My own conscious ascension process has been in the making for a decade now. Or 25 years if you start from my awakening and seeking years. This amounts to half of an average lifespan. And that’s the maddest part of all, in my opinion. Along with my compulsion to stay on track with it, that is.
But rumour has it that, in fact, my ‘real’ life is soon to start. And yes, hopefully then all of this will seem like nothing more than the memory of a distant nightmare. One of record-breaking length.
Magic, madness and mystery
[Next time in Diary of a Crazed Ascensionist: Buzzing, boundaries and babies].
"All I can be, I haven't become. All I can do, I haven't done. How far I can reach, hasn't yet been reached. I am a work that hasn't been completed."
Friday, November 20, 2009