The past few days have been good...very good! From last week and building to the stargate opening on 21 August, it feels as if further veils are being pulled away; pulled down.
And I'm no longer doing anything to try to heal myself or grow. There's no need for that now - other than daily protection practises. This feels more like a period of re-acqaintanceship with the Self and integration than anything else.
When I say I'm 'not doing anything' I'm referring to my previous endless rituals, prayers, trying too hard to connect with my EM/HS, TATA/God Father within, etc.
I'm finally just be-ing...reaching within to the Kingdom of Heaven and opening those massive and beckoning golden gateways of my God heart.
I'm feeling somehow like a cat who's got the cream. And the deliciousness of this spiritual taste is just making me greedy for more...and more...and more...
Since last Friday/Saturday the 18 or 19 August, a great beauty seemed to take hold within and begin blossoming there. I heard one of my sisters, Estevia of the DDD's (Divine Dancing Daughter) say earlier in a chat we had that this was the blossoming and opening of my heart (finally!!!) and I was given a visual of a rose opening in speedy animation style. The other sisters were there too, coming forward with various coloured roses/rose bouquets for me.
The DDD's are called that for good reason because they dance God into being...or He dances them in His being, more like :-) They are beautiful beings.
And the thing is, I, myself, have been in dancing, prancing and sometimes even galloping mode in a big way recently. Yesterday I got the urge to do a gallop jump in a spacious mall parking area. It's true to say that whenever I've had good days, weeks or months, I'm automatically given to dancing and singing. It just is how it is and has always been for me. EM explained why recently.
It hasn't been every day, but increasing days since the start of August that my more familiar free dancing - from disco to traditional African to my made-up/remembered Arabic belly-dancing etc in flavour - has taken quite a different turn.
Into being a ballerina!
Every kind of ballet I've ever witnessed live or not and all the requisite moves seem to take over. I've always appreciated ballet as an art, but wouldn't say I've ever been a huge fan. So I'm extra curious about where all this comes from as soon as I put on a piece of classical music. But oftentimes it just streams forth from me, no matter what the music type that's playing.
I really don't think I'm about to start a career as a middle aged ballet dancer with two left feet.
The underlying sensation is I'm needing to express a kind of grace through this dance form - and so none other will do or gets close enough to that. Yes, this is the beauty of grace or grace-filled beauty at work. And I've discovered that grace from that place is affected not at all by any bodily shortcomings.
It's all pretty ironic, really. As a little girl of four or five I was forced into doing ballet classes by my mother.I didn't want to and it bred a lot of anxiety within me. My little spatial-development challenged body struggled with it and lack of co-ordination followed me from then, all the way through my life.
Ditto any formal dance sequence, sewing fancy stitches and even cycling, to name a few affected areas in my life. I think my clumsiness is sourced there.
So this grace - which is the exact opposite of who I AM in body - is an aspect/expression of my GodSelf making itself felt. And I'm incredibly curious to know more, much more about who and what I AM.
This is what this time is all about, though, isn't it? We need to know who we are, to know what we are. And THAT has to be beyond any riches or rewards of this world, for any of us!
That IS the richness...of be-ing. Whether expressed in this world or any other. Though we came to know and express it here and now.
During my four phases of joy experienced over the past few years, they were so powerful in their exhilirating effect on me it literally left me feeling breathless and in a kind of berserk, crazy state every day, 24/7. I didn't know what to do to properly channel that joy energy and I was all over the place. And very enthusiastically-loud with it. Sometimes I would even just cry from joy...it was a kind of agony-ecstasy. I call those the greatest blessings bestowed upon me in this lifetime so far. No doubt about it.
But this expression of grace is rather a more quiet and 'still' joy - a more centred and balanced kind of joy, that's no less satisfying than that other type. It's also not a 24/7 thing. It comes and goes.
On the subject of physical bodies and movement and such, I'm wondering how many folk have been experiencing this also. When I go walking outside it feels either as though I'm walking slightly above ground level or the ground is pushing me up off of it. I'm not talking about feeling ungrounded here. I know all too well what that sensation feels like. This is different. It's feels solidly-floaty, if that contradiction makes any sense to you? It feels like I'm 'here' and also not here; I feel like a semi-etheric being actually.
I don't whether that's another passing 'symptom' of this period or not. Time will tell.
I can't remember which came first: the above or the sensation of feeling flooded with God in my very cells, at the molecular and atomic levels. As if God's slowly turning up the inner Light dimmer that He might shine more strongly from within.
Other symptoms I've recently experienced are veering between hardly eating anything all day - making do with a single smallish meal. Or alternatively not being able to stop eating. There hasn't been much of the latter lately though.
Blessings of peace in God to each one of you.
Dedicated to our beloved Christ Michael Aton - I know he loves this: