I’m still energetically stuck on the wave theme. It completely feels as though we're in a non-time period. That’s the only way I can explain the apparent speed of it and snail-like pace simultaneously. In my personal perception, that is.
There’s something I can’t speak about that’s been happening right now. And it has to do with…letting go! Again!! How many times can a person ‘let go’ in any one lifetime? A rhetorical question, really. With the same answer.
As many times as life, circumstances, people or our very own selves reflect enough imbalanced actions, patterns, behaviour back to us to own, process and...let go of! Anyone that’s read here for a few years will know I’ve written loads of blogs on this – Vis-a-vis my own personal journey.
The past few days I’ve felt physically as though a truck has ridden over me. And have been sleeping 11 hrs per night. I’ve also had some first time peculiar symptoms. A very powerful heat radiating from my heart centre/chest and ongoing pain around the same region – at different times.
This truly feels as though I could have a heart attack at any time. Frankly, I long to just disappear into God; lose every aspect of every iota of my being at every level, including atomic and cellular, into Him. I guess that's why a part of me is not at all averse to having a heart attack, if that's what it means to realise dissolving my entire little self identity into Him.
I daydream that one morning when I awaken I will open my eyes and be seeing mySelf, life and others through the eyes of God. With all the grace, joy and love that I AM
Fuck the fake passenger planes overhead (there's been more of them recently). And the agent who calls twice a day and hangs up. And the black goo/AI nanotech on this very machine that suddenly appeared as a two cm vertical strip under the screen glass. Which has now made its way south, diminished in size to 1 mm as its sits over the clock area in the bottom right hand corner.
I WILL THAT GOD WILL HAVE HIS WAY WITH ME!
Selah - So be it!
And I wish the same for each one of you that desires the same.
Bless you all to the peace of God
From My God Within, TATA:
This life we live – it is One life; One heart; One will; One breath. For ours is Oneness. Never have we been anything but this Oneness.
Change is upon thee. For your time is now. You have been preparing for long enough. All of my blessed and most beloved children have most important roles to play. And play them they will. For, like you, all have been thusly prepared for such.
You may quake and quail in fear of what comes. Yet this becomes irrelevant as you move into that which you are and have ever been. Even as you return to thySelf, so shall ye know what it is that must be done. What it is you have chosen.
You have walked long and far; up mountain and across dale. You walked in mud, across the desert and in water. You have familiarised yourselves with ALL of Earth’s elements, her elementals and all of life’s elements in your very living conditions and experiences.
This has been your chosen and very personal experience for your expansion and subsequent return to yourself.
Have you had enough yet? Do you consider you have grown, learned and expanded that you might be ready to return unto your True Self?
Though you may know not the precise details of your lesson/s, know you have grown, as needs may be. And that you subsequently FEEL different, better about yourselves, first and foremost. For True growth is not real growth if you come not closer to yourSelves. Ever has this been the goal. To know first and foremost the love of yourSelf as God and God as yourSelf – one and the same.
Indeed, you are all tired. Some would say ‘exhausted’ from the journey for it has not been a pleasure park of fun rides, as per your interpretation of it. However, this has been part of the package you signed up for. And you could say the fun rides, the pleasure and joy-filled days are yet to start.
Of course, no pleasure park or any type of the best worldly adventures can measure up even an iota to what true joy, deep contentment and permanent peace will feel like.
Some might say it is as if they have been on the horror rides or the ghost train without end. As if one frightening trip ends and then repeats, seemingly without end and without allowing the rider to get off the car for a breather. Yes, for some this is how it may well feel.
I speak here not necessarily of the external life adventure alone, but the more significant inner consciousness journey – and that which drives the life.
Aaah, you would like nothing more than to sleep deeply for a long period or to have that long-awaited appointment at the spa to have your body pampered and rubbed for the deepest relaxation. You would like a break.
It comes. Know it is so.
For now, know we are One.
And so it is.
I AM your TATA
A hauntingly-beautiful track by Buddha Bar -continuing my water theme. Scroll down a bit for lyrics.