Sa-Ra 19: Self-Abasement II
It is a pleasure to be with you all here this evening...
Tonight I would like to continue in a deeper vein on our topic of the previous message on self-abasement.
Another phrase for the same is self-disparagement. All is part of the same ill-ness that lives within the human psyche.
Whether self-abasement or self-disparagement, both are feelings and actions demonstrating lack of love of the Self. As we said previously, part of this unloving expression towards Self and others has created the victimhood mentality, individually and collectively.
However, I did not explain much about how and WHY this occurs. I would like to explore some of the mechanics of this tonight.
Do not underestimate the importance of this topic, for it is this societal ill that has kept many in chains. And you ones who are working hard on your personal freedom need to lead the way in breaking those chains.
You are not the chattel of another, especially not you women. Nor are you to be used as a punch bag. You are not any longer to know unboundaried behaviour in reactions to others. For oftentimes it is in your empathy, sympathy, compassion and your desiring to be of assistance, that you open yourself to those who would abuse you.
There is a very fine dividing line between standing in your own power and demonstrating compassion and empathy in order to serve another and doing the same, but with the element of self-love added that instantly places you firmly in your own true power. Which is also your great protection.
Remember, if you cannot or will not protect and defend yourselves in the face of verbal, physical or emotional abuse, you have no business guiding others.
For when those who criticise you and are openly disapproving of what you say and feel are in your midst, you will need to know clearly how to stand. You will need to know both how to protect and defend yourself as well as knowing how to be open and compromising. While still remaining compassionate of heart.
Although this may appear to be a tall order technically, it can easily be done with the right understanding and clearance of the factors that hinder the process.
Now we would draw your attention to some of the ways you have allowed yourselves to be used and debased by others, in making THEM feel better most often. And YOU WORSE when this occurs. But you have become numbed to the emotional results of these in most instances, pushing much into the unconscious in not wanting to 'make a fuss' or purely and simply not wanting or knowing how to deal with it, AKA denial.
Some of the ways this plays out in your relations with others:
You, as a woman, might walk past a group of men and hear a typical wolf whistle directed at you. Many cultures turn a blind eye and ear to this, subtly condoning this belittling behaviour. Often these men - with a false sense of strength, power and group bravado encouraging them - may get no response from the woman, but they'll make an overtly undermining/humiliating comment about her, anyway.
If the woman chooses to respond -negatively in particular - she'll receive an undermining response also, in the main. Often accompanied by disparaging laughter from the male group supporting this. Either way, it seems the woman loses. If she chooses to 'stand up' to the man she is openly undermined; while ignoring him attracts a similar response.
These 'cultural norms' are far from normal. But I illustrate this as an example to show how deeply conditioned this pattern of response is within women across the world in accepting such humiliations as 'normal' male behaviour.
This type of conditioning often then draws women in as co-conspirators of their own gender/personal self-disparagement. Such as buying into and reinforcing negative stereotypes. Such as perpetuating the 'helpless, idiot female' role who needs someone else to be responsible for her.
You, as a woman, may signal this in an aversion to map reading, changing your car tyre or some such that your men might 'rescue' you from. Watch yourselves beloveds and see how often you do this, because something else has decided it's not your role. In fact, this is you making yourself lesser-than and more limited.
And to your men, you women will do just the same. You may signal to your male partner that he is useless in the kitchen so he shouldn't be there. Or that he is clueless in dealing with and raising children, essentially limiting his involvement in both. But then you may complain down the line how 'irresponsible' your man is. When you were a contributor to that result, making sure he couldn't take responsibility in the above scenarios, as examples. Do you see?
And many men will follow this line of least resistance. And instead of trying to work with this and work that meme out, you often choose to surrender passively to it instead.
This is what your mostly-male controllers wish for men to think about women, women about men and both genders to think of themselves. These and many other self-disparaging thoughts about who we are as men and women have been artificially ingrained as part of the programming of separation on earth.
This is in direct conflict with the balance you are seeking to strike in your growth into becoming the gods/goddesses within that you are. And why it is so very important that this be dealt with.
it is time to discard the lot of these inauthentic power/powerlessness expressions and find your true inner north of authentic personal power; balanced power. Which can then manifest in balanced relations with one another.
Take the work place for instance - rife with all manner of friction, bubbling just below the surface usually. It's a good thing you can't read one another's minds, for you certainly wouldn't like what you hear, most of you [Sa-Ra laughs].
But it is at the workplace much of this undermining of both genders continues day in and day out.
How, you ask, can one make progress when one's superior you're supposed to be in deference of uses his position to constantly, belittle, denigrate and humiliate those around him. This is done very subtly of course and often times in the mode of light-hearted jest. When all of you around him know this is not the case.
And of course being on the receiving end of this is the experience of both genders - no limitations here. In many instances, this energetic dumping ground ensures the one dumped upon returns home to dump same on his or her loved one. What comes in, must also go out, so to speak.
So there is this cycle of unhealthy psychic energies you are constantly awash with. You are dealing with both your own and others' projections and your own and others' creations, as above, of abasement.
Yes, there's a lot to contend with here. What is required is for you now to shift into a completely new mindset where you do not allow such to cross your path further. Again, this comes in and through the total acceptance of all of yourself.
Demanding and commanding respect or refusing to accept the load that another wishes to dump on you means making it CLEAR to that person this is NOT acceptable. And that what he or she is offloading is not yours to TAKE on.
WITHOUT doing these things, you are effectively saying 'I am worth less; worthless'.
And how can you expect to be WORTHY of responsibility bestowed upon you when you are screaming 'I am worth less' - though it may be a silent scream.
These few examples I have given are but several of hundreds that are rife in your interactions with others daily that make you feel lesser-than about yourselves.
Commanding respect and demanding the same of others, beloveds, means first that you fall in love with yourself. So completely, totally and absolutely that you defend yourself in the natural way one would your very own child.
And here we do not mean this to be a mental exercise alone, but one which becomes a permanent state lived where you are first able and willing to hold YOURSELF in the highest esteem before you can expect others to do so of and with you.
And so I leave this with you this evening. Hoping it will be another nugget of Truth to add to your repertoire of growing self-knowledge.
May the Force of Light and Love burn ever stronger within you. For it will all be much needed in the times ahead.
Beloveds, this is your Sa-Ra
Loving you and leaving you for now
Until the next.
Saturday, January 25, 2014