Emotional Pain/Resolving Conflict by Nada

6 April 2013

EMOTIONAL PAIN/RESOLVING CONFLICT

By Nada

Through Shellee-Kim

Part 1

We would like to take this issue of conflict and emotional pain a bit further after your recent forum exploration of this.

It is conflict within that produces conflict without. There is always one party that plays the role of victim in most situations of conflict on your earth, while the other plays the role of perpetrator. Of course, neither would acknowledge that they are playing either of these roles in the many varieties of conflict they find expression in. Yet, when people involved in these share their experience of the conflict with a third party, they inevitably wish to be perceived as the victim.

Conflict arises as a result of an aspect of your selves being out of alignment with its true nature. Which is that of harmony, of balance and of the ability to be circumspect. Yet, paradoxically, it is through conflict that growth and spiritual expansion have best been able to occur on your world. At least in the old paradigm.

Let us explain this clearly. It is not the concept and execution of conflict that we are endorsing as much as it the ways in which you choose to react to that of a conflictual nature which is before you.

In the immediate future, new paradigms to conflict resolution will be taught, which include first and foremost – the taking of full responsibility for all your own creations, including your emotions and thoughts. Thus can individuals successfully own that which spills over into all your various types of relationships with one another.

Your AH president Candace, gave a very good demonstration of this in her recent experience of conflict with another and publicly exposed it that all could learn from it. In this we saw this one was able to stand back somewhat and see the circumstances as objectively as possible without projecting blame onto others, yet simultaneously not sublimating the burden of deeply hurt feelings and emotions involved. At all times through this was she able to retain her compassion also.

Of course, emotions always do need to be acknowledged. But amongst the ill-informed, fear-based beliefs of this world is the encouraging of emotional suppression; the idea that it is not acceptable to ‘wallow’ in such feelings.

In fact, without the period of ‘wallowing’, you are not ALLOWING the sensations, feelings, emotions and memories to surface, all imperative to the healing process. Only once they have surfaced, can they be transmuted through forgiveness and thus properly released/integrated.

Any other ways of dealing with conflict is what we call merely ‘skin deep’. Many might say they’ve dealt with past negative feelings regarding an event or person, for example, but in fact may just have succeeded in pushing such feelings down, deeper into the subconscious mind. Here it festers, gathering and adding to it all sorts of other resentments, angers and hurts. Until the accumulation of these –including the original undealt-with conflict - explodes in some manner into the life experience or associated relationship. Because sooner or later these feelings do demand to be dealt with. And must for growth to take place.

Then there are others who’s emotional pain over such unhealed conflicts is ever-present, haunting their daily lives. These are the ones who more often than not will resort to addictions and escapes mechanisms of various types in the living to numb themselves from the emotional residue of such past conflict.

And others, who deal with their emotional pain by becoming compulsive ‘achievers’, as your world perceives it. The external achievements, recognition and validation by the society tells them they have ‘won’ over any internal battles. And this would apply equally to those upon various spiritual paths and within the New Age. Yet, truth is, most of these ones ‘feel like a failure’ within.

During a conflict with another it feels like the most difficult thing in the world to really ‘hear’ what the other is saying; where and why they are coming from the particular perspective they are. Because that requires you to be both open and in an objective field energetically. Not one where you are preparing yourself mentally with a one-upmanship retort, a defensive comment or a verbal attack to prove the ‘rightness’ of your points. When such competition takes hold it is where you are giving the negative ego the upper hand.

The result has been a world at war with itself and each other. And much which passes as conflict resolution techniques on your earth –demonstrated especially by politicians and academics - is but a side-stepping of the real issues not yet faced or felt, while intellectualizing the process into what appears to be a peaceful resolution for both sides/parties.

Emotional and spiritual intelligence is key to the authentic resolution of conflict. And that requires remaining in ‘adult’ mode in your interactions with others. It also asks that you are able to step enough outside of yourself, becoming aware, in order to view yourself in a way that you become comfortable with the ‘shadow’ aspects of yourself. Those negative and destructive patterns and responses that are yours and yours alone. This in turn helps you to discern when you are negatively ‘projecting’ onto others. For the latter is a major cause of conflict.

If each were to desire to return ownership to themselves, this would be the start of a new paradigm in human relations. And one where the focus on the understanding and subsequent healing of self would lead to a society of people that behaves towards one another with the greatest regard.

This model is highly achievable as the new begins to take hold. It will require a re-education of mind. And a truthful understanding and acceptance of emotional expression, with a focus on constructive expression. It is time to begin treating one another better. By seeing and treating yourselves better first.

That is all for today.

I wish each of you great love and my blessings on this day as we draw ever-closer to the end.

I AM Nada.

[Part 2 will be posted tomorrow]