Posted by Goldsalchemy at Wednesday, September 15, 2010
DNA awakening and spiritual/consciousness expansion are reliant on our emotional intelligence (EI) for growth. Our intimate relationships perfectly mirror the work that we’ve done, as well as what still needs doing towards greater integration and balance within. [E]motion (energy in motion) is our prime navigational tool. Here's a space to ask and explore everything you ever wanted to know on how to do relationships that return you to your own power...
(I will be going into some of these Q's in depth in upcoming relationship articles, as this space only provides for short responses)
Q:Our relationship seems to have entered the mundane;we no longer inspire each other, we take each other for granted,are not open or honest in the way we once were with each other and distance and misstrust seems to have set in. What can we do?
A:Because you haven't said any different, I'm assuming there are no external factors that may have contributed to your current relationship experience. Road blocks like these can help us reconnect in a more authentic way. First to ourselves and then to our partners. Perhaps our initial connection with each other was based on the other making us feel ‘safe’ and ‘complete’. And when we have that we often become comfortable and complacent. Which often invites stagnation in in turn. We need to ask: ‘Where are the places within where we don’t feel safe and complete. And why?’. As this is what motivated our need to be filled up externally in the first instance. You may want to blame something or someone outside of yourself for what is occurring. But the best contribution you can make to your relationship healing now is to explore where and when you stopped feeling safe, trusting and started feeling incomplete in your history. Once aware, memories trapped in your emotional bodies that have created such imbalances can begin being brought up for release. This will eventually lead to a more ‘whole’ relationship response by you. Here you'll have more of you to bring to a relationship and less needs to be filled by another. New era relationships avoid power imbalances, so having a partner who is equally responsible for him/herself emotionally is crucial to its success.
Q: How much damage can resentment (from one or both partners) create in a relationship? And is this repairable if it has been going on for many years?
A: Resentment is like a cancer that can eat away at the core of all that remains good in your togetherness. If you don’t understand it and allow it. It produces numerous symptoms, ranging from anger to withdrawal. As with much else that creates relationship havoc, it is a result of dishonesty and mistrust - mostly of the Self. Yet, to heal it is necessary to explore and purge this slow-cooking (e)motion at cause to ensure the relationship's forward movement. Rather than managing a symptom or two only to have resentment return down the line. If this happens, you'll know the root cause was not reached sufficiently. Additionally, acknowledging, separating, returning and fully owning which issues belong to whom, energetically-speaking, is the start of honouring the Self. Because the chief relationship that runs our external ones is the inner one we have first with our Selves.