I AM Present

I AM Present

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

DIARY OF A CRAZED ASCENSIONIST: Death, the Unveiling and Resurrection

Dear Diary

A lot's happened since I last made contact. From the middle of February wave upon wave of high frequency photonic light has again been blasting my brain and body through ringing downloads in my ears. It's resulted in an excited buzz of anticipation for me! That's between the interspersing waves of anxiety, flatlining, a floaty-apathetic state and frustration. Needless to say, I, like many, have become an expert on managing and surviving my multiple ascension personalities! :-)

My little garden has become a literal killing field. And I've had to bury no less than six small, innocent creatures since the end of December. They all died at the paws of my feline family. Or one in particular...no names mentioned!

On that other all-important level, all this death and decay around me has been a continuous series of messages to me that all that belongs to the old world, including relationships, are necessarily dying within me.And therefore in the without. The new cannot properly be birthed until it does. If the birds, moles and mice weren't enough for me to get the message, then the incessant dreams of me dying, others telling me the same in dreams and all other signs around me pointing in this direction certainly were. 

Not to mention the fact that, in addition, at the same time in mid February my modem broke. My pc had already begun 'disconnecting' from December. And it still freezes up and shuts down and the core issue has not yet been fixed. I'm just kind of managing to keep it alive when needed. And don't even get me started on my car's electrics dying...

I've also been chatting more with a couple of new beings, some old ones (I thought had permanently left me in exasperation ) and Christ Michael -not to be confused with AA Michael. He's the big boss of earth, who is responsible for final decision-making about things, including how the next series of events are to unfold on earth. These chats have mostly been on personal stuff about and for me and where this crazy life of mine's moving!

CM said all that is now occurring in my consciousness is part of the programme to reveal Me to me. 'You have made this contract with your Source Self a long time ago. Now it is finally time for its unveiling'. Sounds like some work of art that I'll finally be allowed to know, see and experience within myself. Maybe the time of being a work in progress is over. Although it never really is, as one is constantly refining, moving and expanding...
I've been told in no uncertain terms that I'm being introduced to mySelf incrementally, so I don't become overwhelmed or too shocked.  But the fact is I AM. I've just pieced something together, for instance, about how past (this life), painful events regarding a relationship get to be some of my future life's greatest joys. Still to be experience in this (hopefully regenerated) body. Lady Nada was trying to help me understand how such memories would begin seeming like a very distant dream/nightmare, while the new 'reality' settled in, becoming my true point of reference. Almost like an energetically-reversed experience from this one currently being lived and experienced. And I keep receiving the image along with it of some unknown material (my consciousness?) being pulled inside out. It sounds and feels so trippy, sci-fi and time traveller-ish. I'll soon be able to speak openly, illustrating through  my actual situation which will hopefully help put all this cryptic stuff into better perspective for you and better show how this is to work practically.

Due to previously-unknown bursts of feelings of oneness and gratitude, LN embarked on another instruction with me. About the new relationship we are to have as our future selves with the very foods we eat. How the act of consuming a vegetable, fruit or grain (or anything else) involves total recognition of that life force inside of the very molecules you are consuming and that which is giving itself to you in service and love. Now while this may be obvious to many of you, this sharing centred around my recent overwhelming feelings of being connected to the Oneness of all the life forces around me in a much more profound way than ever before. And my subsequent move to being in greater gratitude for more, more often.
What I am feeling has been surging in and out of me in waves of sacred appreciation also intermittently since mid last month.

There's also a strange poetic swirling for want of a better description, around my thoughts more often. Unrecognisable as being from me, yet it is coming through me. It's not quite sticking to me consistently or enough yet - as in a compulsion to sit down and write more of my book!But I feel this welcome and new creativity arriving in a whole new and different way. May it become a permanent fixture.

I keep hearing 'these are the last of the last days' before the new beginning and our 'resurrection'. Without doubt they are. It's like every living thing knows it and feels the changes shortly to be upon us.We're at both the end and the beginning. I've been waiting for this end for decades, knowing it would herald bright, new beginnings...

I, amongst many I know, cannot wait!

In magic, madness and mystery

But I have to tell you I could hardly sleep from sheer excitement a few nights ago when Lady Nada painstakingly explained dissolving timelines so I could get more of a grip on a state she was trying to convey to me about this future life to come.This involved understanding the complexity of something that has befuddled me for years-getting my head around the concept of  time and space and how our decisions dissolve/create other timelines/lifelines. Because I really relate to it, she used the movie 'The Butterfly Effect' to illustrate some points. Success at last! I think I finally get 'it'  after all this time. It feels as if the gap's closing between SK of the now/past who is dissolving and I'm about to step into (the already-established) future SK, who I'm 'feeling' and expressing increasingly. Don't know whether that makes sense to you. 

After experiencing a kind of telepathic lockdown, since last month telepathy has felt like a frequency band explosion of communication. Although not consistent, I might add. But then it's a well-known fact that neither am I.